Be all that you can be in the aa-aarmy

I recently was talking with a friend and we were talking about some of my issues, my stupidity and my friends response was the ever-enlightening "that best thing that you can give to another person or do for them is to be the best you that you can be..." There is a great deal of truth in that statement and it really inspires me to do some things to get myself more emotionally and spiritually healthy, but something occurred to me the other day as I had my face buried in my downstairs T.V. watching/video game playing/ prayer chair. (that's my special chair where I like to go and pray and play video games and watch ESPN; all three are very important activities!) As I was praying and asking God to help me become the best Me that I could be and as I was confessing all my crap to God and apologizing for allowing so much time to elapse between our much needed visits, much needed on my part that is, I was struck. I realized that the best me that I can be isn't really all that good and that the people that I really love deserve more than the best me that i can be. I realized that I had not been retreating to God very often and that His Spirit, while available and present was not the core of my life. I realized that I have been trying to be the best me that i could be and that I was growing frustrated because it was still leaving those that I love hurt by me. I realized that the best me that i could be had nothing to do with my ability to be good. And, I know this sounds really Christianeese, but, I need to be the best me that God can make me.
I say that because when I go to God in prayer and really receive His Spirit and really seek out His Spirit in my Life and I am a different person. I am a more pleasant person. I am a more driven person, I am a more successful person, i am a more loving person...., things are just all around good. So, if you are reading this my apologies to all of you who i have offended or hurt or neglected in any way because i was not be a good enough me. I wasn't being the me that i can only be through true connection with God.